


What about love?

by lightvich



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, basically just my take on what happens in the next episode, hope you like it, sort of, spoilers for episode 1x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6378286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightvich/pseuds/lightvich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec was being polite.<br/>He was just acting like a normally kind human being.<br/>There was absolutely no other reason why he was standing in front of Magnus Bane’s door at an impossibly early hour in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What about love?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody!  
> This is my first work in this fandom, even though i've been part of it for years.  
> This is basically just my take on what will happen in the next episode (which, by the way, is gonna kill us all) and i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Of course, the characters are not mine.  
> The mistakes, however, are. I'm not English, sorry for the mistakes that you can find and that i probably didn't notice, but feel free to point out anything that's wrong or bugging you!

Alec was being polite.  
He was just acting like a normally kind human being.  
There was absolutely no other reason why he was standing in front of Magnus Bane’s door at an impossibly early hour in the morning.  
He was going to thank him for helping out with Isabelle’s trial and then he’d leave. Short and straightforward.  
At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.  
He stared at the door for what felt like an eternity until finally, with one last shuddering breath, he rang the doorbell, and waited.  
“Who on earth is this, and what can you possibly want from me at this time of the day?”  
Magnus’ voice came loud and clear through the intercome, and Alec, as usual, lost the ability to form a meaningful, well-articulated sentence.  
“It’s uh.. It’s me.” Great introduction, Alec. A little more detail would be needed perhaps. “It’s Alec. Lightwood.”  
After a couple seconds of unending silence, he heard the door click open, and he took that as an indication that he could come in.  
As he reached Magnus’ apartment door, it swung open to reaveal the warlock, looking stunning as ever in a blue, loose shirt open on the front, which partially showed his perfectly toned chest.  
Alec was already feeling dizzy.  
“Alec.” It did not hurt that Magnus wasn’t calling him Alexander anymore. Not at all. “ To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”  
“Can I.. can i come in?” Just because talking from across a doorframe felt weird, it’s not like he had plans to stick around. Short and straightforward.  
“Sure thing, make youself comfortable.” Magnus headed for the couch, but Alec just stood there, awkwardly, blatantly staring.  
Magnus looked really good. Like, really really good. And Alec couldn’t bring himself to stop ogling.  
“So, what brings you here? Anyone else in need of my help?”  
Magnus’ words snapped Alec out of his trance, and he tried to regain control of his mind: he knew what he came to say, he had practiced his speech plenty of times on his way there. Short and straightforward. Right to the point.  
What came out, anyway, was an intricated and inarticulated sentence that barely made sense.  
“What? No. No help. Just uhm.. thanks. I mean, thank you. For Isabelle. For yesterday, the uhm.. the trial. Thank you.”  
That did not go well. Definitely not as planned.  
Magnus then smiled at him, staring at him with an amused frown on his face.  
“That’s why you’re here? To.. thank me for yesterday?” He was full on grinning now. “Could’ve just called, spared yourself the trip.”  
Alec suddenly felt extremely stupid. What was he thinking, coming here, at Magnus’ place?  
What did he think this was going to solve? Magnus had made that pretty clear: he was getting married, and they had nothing more to tell each other, dragging this thing between them longer than necessary was pointless, and it was only gonna hurt them both.  
“This was a mistake. I should probably.. I’m just gonna go, sorry if I bothered. And thanks, again.”  
As Alec turned towards the door, already mentally banging his head repeatedly against a wall for his stupid ideas, Magnus spoke again, causing Alec to stop dead in his tracks.  
“Alexander.”  
Alec froze, feeling a fire spread through him just from hearing his full name again, being pronounced by the warlock’s silky, smooth voice.  
His heart race sped up, he felt heat rise up his cheeks, his breath hitched and a small smile tugged at the corned of his lips, as if hearing Magnus calling him by his full name was enough to make him smile like an idiot.  
Magnus, once having realized that he effectively stopped him, resumed speaking.  
“Why did you come here? Really.”  
This was a mistake. This was a huge mistake.  
Alec was getting married tomorrow, there was no going back now, no changing that, no matter what his feelings were, no matter what he wanted or what he hoped.  
He had a duty to follow, for his family, for the Institute, and coming there was only shreading his intention to stick with his decisions.  
“Magnus, i just.. I just wanted to thank you, okay? I.. you were great, we couldn’t have done this without you, and i wanted to make sure that we thanked you properly.”  
It came out better than he expected, he was over with this, and now he could just step back into his old self, forget the feelings that this man made him feel and just keep going with his life as if all of this had never happened.  
Magnus laughed, a humorless, tired laugh, and then looked at him, right into his eyes.  
“Look, I’m gonna say this one last time and I hope you get it: you don’t have to go through with this.”  
Alec knew they would end up talking about the marriage anyway, so he had his usual answer ready.  
But Magnus shushed him with a gesture of his hand and started getting closer to him.  
“Don’t repeat yourself, i get it. Family is what matters the most to you, you want to protect the people you care about, and that is worthy of admiration, Alec.”  
Magnus was stepping in his personal space now, and the shadowhunter was beginning to be affected by his sudden closeness, and could do nothing but stare at him, drowning in his warm, gentle eyes.  
“But what about love?”  
They were so close now, Alec could count Magnus’ eyelashes, and his mouth blurted out words he didn’t even mean to let out.  
“I have no idea what love is, Magnus.”  
That made the warlock’s eyes sparkle as he took a step back and, with a smile, started circling Alec, driving him completely crazy, and making him lose whatever willpower could have held him together up until that moment.  
“Well, let me explain it to you then.”  
Magnus moved to stand behind him, Alec could feel his heat radiating behind him, and the only thing he could think was ‘Magnus, Magnus, Magnus’.  
“Your heart beats faster, when they walk by.”  
Well his heart was definitely beating faster, it was beating so fast that Alec was beginning to think he was going to have a stroke, right there, right then.  
“Your skin tingles, every time they enter a room.”  
Alec was losing it, he felt like he had no control over his body reactions anymore, Magnus was tearing down that wall he had so carefullt built up in the past few days, brick after brick, and for once, he let himself go, he let himself feel.  
Now Magnus was back in front of him, staring up at him as if he could reach his soul, and he was leaning in, always closer, until they were breathing the same air.  
“That is was I feel with you, Alexander. And I know you feel what i feel.”  
Alec was long gone by now, he could only stare at Magnus and try to enjoy and capture this moment, just this one moment, before it would all collapse, before he was forced to shatter the last attempt of hope that was still burning bright in Magnus’ eyes.  
Alec took a deep breath, and spoke with all the honesty and firmness he could collect.  
“So what if I do, Magnus? You have to understand it, you have to understand me, even if I did feel the same way about you, it wouldn’t change anything. I have to do this, I have no other choice.”  
He placed a hand on the warlock’s forearm, giving it a gentle but firm squeeze, turning away from him and blinking away the tears that were welling in his eyes, and with one last, final “i’m sorry”, he let go of him and stormed out the door, not even daring to look back at him once, because he knew that if he did, if he saw the pain and heartbreak in Magnus’ beautiful amber eyes one more time, he would never be able to walk away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! :)  
> You can find me [here](http://lightvich.tumblr.com/) on tumblr!


End file.
